THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE BETWEEN FITS OF HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER.
C: "I WAS ABOUT TO, YOU KNOW, FINISH. IT WAS LIKE..."
*MAKES MEDIUM-LOUD, MEDIUM-LENGTH FART NOISE. WE ALL START LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY*
T: "WHAT DO YOU DO AFTER THAT?? LIKE OBVIOUSLY YOU COULDN'T FINISH, LIKE, AFTER THAT. THAT KINDA KILLS LIKE - IF YOU WERE ABOUT TO FINISH, THAT WAS KINDA LIKE, 'WELL THAT WAS INSTEAD'. THAT JUST TOOK THE PLACE OF IT."
H: "OOOOH GOD."
T: "WELL AT LEAST ITS LIKE, STILL SOME KIND OF RELEASE."
C: "OH YEAH, AND IT WAS LIKE, IN THE MORNING - SOBER - DAYLIGHT..."
T: "WAIT... THE FART?!"
C: "...EYE CONTACT. THERE WAS EYE CONTACT AND I FARTED."
T: "OH MY GOD. WHAT POSITION WERE YOU IN THAT MADE YOU FART?!"
C: "JUST LIKE... HE'S LIKE... YOU KNOW WHEN IT'S... NOT LIKE... WELL HE WAS LIKE... UPRIGHT AND YOU'RE DOWN? LIKE A NINETY DEGREE ANGLE? THAT'S THE POSITION BUT LIKE... I WAS LOOKING UP AND UM... AND THEN I LIKE - "
S: "WAIT, SO LIKE, DID YOU HAVE YOUR KNEES PULLED UP INTO YOUR CHEST OR SOMETHING?? HE WAS FUCKING YOU AT A RIGHT ANGLE AND YOU FARTED??"
T: "THAT SEEMS LIKE THE LEAST LIKELY POSITION FOR A FART TO JUST SLIP OUT."
H: "WAIT WAIT WAIT... HE WAS STANDING OR LAYING??"
C: "NO, HE WAS LIKE ON HIS KNEES, LIKE THIS-"
*PROCEEDS TO KNEEL ON MY APARTMENT FLOOR*
C: "-AND YOU'RE LIKE-"
S: "WAIT IS HIS PENIS, LIKE, THAT FAR OFF THE GROUND??"
C: "THAT'S JUST MY BODY. HE LIKE LIFTED MY BUTT."
S: "OOOH. BUT LIKE... IS HIS PENIS THAT LONG?"
* C PROCEEDS TO DEMONSTRATE POSITIONING WITH DIFFICULTY FOR THREE MORE MINUTES *
T: "WHAT WAS THE SOUND THOUGH..? JUST..."
C: "OKAY, READY? IT WAS LIKE A -"
*IS LAYING ON HER BACK IN SPECIFIED POSITIONING, KNEES PULLED BACK*
C: "YEAH HE WAS LIKE THIS AND I WAS LIKE THIS, LIKE LOOSER, AND NOW IMAGINE EYE CONTACT.."
*MANEUVERS HANDS IN THE AIR DEMONSTRATING THE CONTACT MADE BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM. MAKES LONG, LOUD FARTING NOISE. DISSOLVE INTO LAUGHTER.*
H: "OH GOD I THINK I PEED A LITTLE."
S: "DID IT SMELL?!"
C: "NO, THANK GOD, IT DIDN'T SMELL. I TURNED MY HEAD AND CLOSED MY EYES. SILENT. NO LAUGHTER. NOTHING. SILENT. AND THEN HE FINISHED LIKE, FIVE MINUTES LATER."
T: "WELL GOOD FOR HIM! HE DIDN'T MIND IT."
C: "OH GOD. WELL I'M GLAD WE CLEARED THAT UP."